God has peed on me again. And I had nothing to protect me, so whereas the rest of the folks walked about at leisure in his benevolent piss, I was drowned in divine urine. Perhaps it's his way of punishing me for not believing in him.
The irony is that I have carried an umbrella with me all through this winter. I have barely had the chance to use it however, as it has rained as commonly as England win the world cup. So I decided to use it for other purposes. On sunny days, for instance, it has served me as a parasol.
Actually here's a small list of some of the functions my umbrella served during this winter:
a parasol;
a soup bowl;
a sword for when i imagine myself zorro;
a rifle for when i re enact the 7th June killings;
a toilet.
And today, the only time when it could have served its proper function, I have forgotten it. Left behind in a dry place, stored somewhere in the coziness of home, while I get f****** soaking wet as I hike my daily 15 minute walk to get to work (aka Paradise of the Damned).
Tomorrow I'll be carrying my umbrella with me, that's for sure. And I don't care whether it rains or not - I'm using it.
(btw, here's an interesting link on how umbrellas can help bring people together: http://www.underanumbrella.com/)
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